The Problem with Growing Up
by AriLeece7
Summary: Hakuouki one-shot, second gen. Hijikata and Chisuru's daughter. The problems that come with growing up, and a parent who won't acknowledge it.


**_Hey there! This is my first attempt at writing a fan-fiction, so please don't completely tear me apart for any mistakes! I would really appreciate reviews and the like to let me know how I'm doing, so leave me one. :)_**

**_I hope you enjoy the story_**

"Text" ~ Talking

_Italics ~ Thinking_

(Parenthesis) ~ Side comment

_(Hakuouki) _

_Hijikata x Chizuru's daughter_

**The Problem with Growing Up**

Asami leaned her chin further into the palm of her hand as she looked out the window. She hadn't thought it was possible, but her parents had managed to make her feel like even more of a child than they usually did. Earlier, when Isamu and Kou had left to return to their dojo, Asami had asked if she could ride to the edge of the town with them, but she had been told by her father – very publicly – that she was too young to go that far from home and return without someone with her.

Her other hand that was resting in her lap clenched into a fist, she was nearly seventeen summers old for the Gods' sake, she could ride back alone! What's worse her mother, who was usually on her side when it came to her father, had agreed with him that she shouldn't go with her brothers. What topped it all though was the almost condescending way that her father had told her to go back inside and to whatever she had been working on. Asami knew that he hadn't meant it to be patronizing, but she was tired of being treated like a little kid, especially when she'd heard stories about girls in the West.

One of Asami's friends, Izumi, had recently been to one of the Western countries and had told her about how incredible the difference between girls there and in Japan was. The most astounding was their clothes. Their dresses were in bright, solid colors, more form-fitting towards the top, and flowing towards the bottom. Another difference was that their shoes had covered, pointed toes, and taller heels (which Asami thought was a great idea, being so small herself).

Girls in the West were also allowed so many more freedoms! Izumi had told Asami that she'd seen girls going places – even towns over – without escorts or guards, and without anyone worrying about them. There were also girls that worked in their parents' stores, especially if it was a clothing store, book store, or a physician's office.

_It's so unfair_, Asami lamented, but she refused to let herself get upset about the idea. Instead, she decided, it would be her motivation. Since she'd received her admonishment that morning, Asami had been planning on how she could get her parents to start treating her more like an adult, or at least not like a child. Her plan was to ask if she could help in the shop like the Western girls. Her mother had taught her how to heal minor and moderate wounds, and her father himself had taught her basic mathematics to the point where she was faster than him at mental calculations. If they would let her help in those ways, she could at least offer to sweep out the shop or run errands for her parents.

She had already planned out what she wanted to say too and, just as a little extra inducement, she had made their favorite things for dinner. Asami finally smiled, confident in her plan and that her parents would see her side of things, and went to go check on dinner preparations.

~ (Later that night) ~

She had tried her best to act natural while she had served dinner, keeping as genuine a smile on her face as she could, and even laughing a little at her father's attempted joke. Now though, with nothing but her dinner to focus on, she couldn't help but feel like going back on her plan. All of a sudden, it seemed like there were dozens of flaws in it and that it was a bad idea to ask. Another part of her though, was simultaneously berating her for wanting to give up without trying and reminding her that if she didn't take the opportunity now, she might not be able to bring up the subject diplomatically again.

"Asami, is everything alright?" She heard her mother's gentle voice come through her mental battle, and looked up at her.

"Yes, everything is fine." She only held her mother's gaze for a moment though, and gave her a brief smile before looking back down at her food.

"Lying does not become a lady." Asami looked up again, this time at her father who was still eating placidly despite what he'd said. After a moment, he looked up at his daughter and smiled slightly at her confused expression. "It is alright for you to be upset about not seeing your brothers off. I thought about it, and next time you can go out with them."

Asami stared at her father for a moment, fighting to keep her mouth from dropping open. Could he really be that cruel? She had heard about his reputation as "Demon Vice-Commander" from Sinpachi-san, and Okita-san when they came to visit, but she hadn't thought that he would be cruel to his own children. The next time that Isamu and Kou would be home would be, at the least, another two years. By that time, Asami wanted to be in Edo, working as a nurse for the soldiers, not at home waiting for her brothers to come home.

Thinking that she was pleased with the answer, Hijikata returned to his dinner and started talking with Chizuru about work at the shop. Alright, not her perfect ideal on how to start this conversation, but it was not or never. "Father?" Asami paused a beat, waiting for his attention, before continuing. "I was wondering, would it be alright if I started to work in the shop with you and Mother?"

"Why would you want to do that?" Asami had been expecting her father's reply and easily replied,

"Because I want to help. I've watch you and Mother so I know what I'm doing and I know to keep out of the way when you're working. Besides, I want to have some real experience before I go to Edo."

"No, absolutely not."

Asami nearly dropped her bowl and chopsticks at her father's response. She hadn't expected such a severe 'no', in fact, she hadn't been expecting a 'no' at all; maybe a 'perhaps', but not a 'no'. Although she was never one to challenge her parents, she couldn't help what came out next, "Why not?"

Hijikata, not expecting Asami to talk back, looked at his daughter incredulously. "Because, you're not old enough or mature enough to work in the shop." Hijikata bringing her age into the conversation made Asami tense up in anger. She couldn't believe that he was still on that!

"I'm almost seventeen summers!"

"You're still a child." He said sternly, surprised at seeing this side to his usually calm and easy-going daughter.

"No I'm not! When Isamu and Kou were my age, they had already been training for two summers! How long are you going to treat me like a child?" Asami didn't know when she had come to her feet, but now she was standing, practically glaring down at her father.

"When you stop acting like one."

"Hijikata!" Chizuru, who had remained silent watching the battle between her stubborn husband and equally as stubborn daughter, felt that she needed to step in now before something was said.

"Then why don't you give me the chance to prove to you that I can act like an adult?" Asami asked, very close to shouting but restraining herself just enough. She waited out five heartbeats of silence before turning on her heel and rushing out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Chizuru called after her, not wanting them to leave the discussion the way it ended, but Hijikata grabbed her hand holding her in place. She gave her husband a hard look as he let go of her arm, and slowly rose to her feet, no longer feeling hungry. Taking her tray and Asami's with her, she left the room hearing Hijikata sigh behind her. Chizuru felt slightly guilty about leaving, but she knew that both Asami and Hijikata needed time to cool off, preferably by themselves. She would check on them both later, and hopefully, she thought, hopefully she'd be able to convince them to reconcile.

As soon as her bedroom door shut behind her, Asami fisted her hands and let out a scream, but didn't open her mouth. _How could he! He wouldn't even give her the chance to prove herself! How dare he call her childish when he wasn't acting any better himself? _All of a sudden, her legs gave out from under her and she fell to the floor. Clutching her head, Asami fought against the urge to either break something or to start crying. Her Oni side was fighting to come out and prove to Hijikata that she was by far, more mature than he would ever know. Little by little, Asami felt the grip she had on herself slip, as the ideas that her other half was telling her started to sound more and more appealing. Finally, the last thread slipped from her reach and she was gone with the idea.

Quickly, she grabbed her satchel and stuffed a few changes of clothing into it, opened the door leading outside, and raced across the lawn to the stables. Her family kept a few horses for the children when they were younger, and as they each grew into experienced riders (Asami's brothers taught her everything they knew and she learned a few tricks herself), they were each given their own animal to take care of. The stables usually gave Asami the opportunity to be quiet when she needed to think, or just wanted to be alone as the presence of the horses was comforting, but right now, the stables were providing her with another opportunity. To leave. And she knew exactly where she was going to go. _Not mature enough, _hmm? She'd show him.

~ (Even later that night) ~

Chizuru looked up from the book she'd been reading, suddenly feeling a disturbance. Something wasn't quite right. Placing the book beside her, she rose to her feet and decided to check on Hijikata and Asami. The two must have had enough time to cool down and think things over. Before she went to find them though, she went to the kitchen to make tea – both father and daughter had the same love for Jasmine tea, especially the way she made it.

After careful deliberation, Chizuru decided to only pour one cup and take it to Asami first, and then later after hopefully convincing her to talk to Hijikata, she would pour more for all of them. Holding the cup carefully in her hands, Chizuru went to Asami's room and knocked on the door, calling for her daughter softly. When there was no response, Chizuru frowned and knocked again before entering the room. Finding it empty, she immediately began to worry. Of course she trusted that Asami could take care of herself, after all she was _her _daughter, but that didn't change the fact that she was concerned. She knew that Asami was faced with her Oni when she was upset, and she hoped that her daughter would be strong enough to not give into the impulsiveness of the creature.

_Was that what she had felt earlier? Asami giving into her Oni? _Chizuru's eyes suddenly went wide. If that was the case, she could be anywhere by now. Moved by the panic of a mother who has lost her child, she picked up the teacup and went to find Hijikata.

The door to his study was left slightly ajar so that when she came up to the door, she could see in. He was hunched over his desk, writing away furiously at something. From the side, Chizuru could see his troubled expression and thought that maybe it was because of his fight with Asami. Pushing the door fully open, she slowly stepped into the room and walked over to Hijikata. She placed one hand lightly on his shoulder "Hijikata?" She asked softly.

"Hmm, yes?" Looking up from his work, his gaze softened when he saw his wife. He further relaxed and even offered her a weak smile when he saw the teacup in her other hand. She offered it to him and he took it in welcoming hands, taking a long, calming sip.

Chizuru counted to three after he finished drinking before telling him. "Asami's not in her room." The unease in her voice was clearly evident.

Hijikata slowly placed the cup on his desk sighing. Truthfully, arguing with Asami had troubled him much more than he'd let on. After all, what father wanted to argue with his cherished daughter over anything at all? He had only wanted to look after her as best he could, even if it meant that he was a little…over doing it. He did have a point though. Asami could be impulsive at times and if she wanted to be mature, then that would have to stop. This little stunt just proved to him further that he was right. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, he closed his eyes and asked, "Did you check the stables?"

"What?"

"Did you check the stables?" He asked again. Hijikata knew that Asami had a particular fondness for the horses and would always go out to the stables after a fight with her brothers. It made sense that she would go there too after a fight with him.

"No, I haven't checked there, but Hijikata-"Rising to his feet, Hijikata crossed the room to open the window that faced the back of the house and the stables. In one of the windows, he could see the light from a lantern.

"She's out there, see?" Turning back to his wife he gestured to the window.

Skeptically, Chizuru came up next to him to see for herself, and to her great relief, there was in fact, a light coming from the window. It put her at ease only for a moment though before she recalled the strange feeling she'd had a few minutes ago. Turning to leave, she almost made it out of the room before Hijikata grabbed her arm,

"Don't get her, leave her be for tonight. She'll come in when she's ready." Chizuru hadn't expected that from HIjikata, but she knew that he was right. Asami was alright, she tried to convince herself, she would just have to talk to her in the morning.

~ (About four weeks later) ~

Asami laughed as she watched the two kittens rolling around together on the floor, fighting over a ball of blue yarn. The two of them were adorable, one of them black and white, and the other was a mix of browns, blacks, and whites; calico – she'd been told. That was just one of many things she'd learned since she'd come to stay in Tokyo.

After leaving that night, she had ridden straight on to the city where her friend, Ryuu, lived with his older brother. The two of them were the oldest in their family and had decided to take over their parent's business when their family moved away from the center of the city. The pair ran a shop similar to her parents', mainly medicines, but the boys had changed the shop somewhat to reflect more of a Western taste by selling fabrics, trinkets, foods, and other goods from the West.

The two had eagerly accepted Asami's offer for her to work with them in exchange for a place to stay. When she had started working with them, Tamotsu, Ryuu's brother, had decided that if she was to be really helpful, she should have a good knowledge about everything that was in the store, especially the items from the West, and spent almost every moment they weren't working telling her and quizzing her on the store's inventory until she could recite everything back to him perfectly.

Ryuu though, had looked on with an amused smile at his brother's lessons. It had been so long since he'd seen Asami that he'd forgotten how beautiful she was. Everything from her soft, angelic features, expressive violet eyes, and long dark brown hair was enticing, and he wondered if she would object to him taking her out as more than a friend. Of course he asked, after practicing exactly what he'd say hundreds of times over, and was met with success. Since then, Ryuu had made it a point to take Asami out to do something almost every week if their schedules allowed it.

Asami had similar thoughts about Ryuu and looked forward to any chance that they got to spend together. Unfortunately, he hadn't kissed her yet, but Asami was hoping to change that soon. For now though, she was content with how he would always have an arm wrapped around her waist when they were out or how he always have an adoring expression on his face when he looked at her. It was the same expression she had seen her father wear when he looked at her mother.

Whenever she thought about her parents, Asami felt pangs of loneliness, and guilt because she hadn't written them or made any attempt to contact them since she'd left. Soon after though, she would feel anger start to rise up again when she remembered why she'd left, and then satisfaction when she thought about how easily she'd slid into working with Ryuu and Tamotsu and how good she was at it too. She loved talking with customers and helping when they needed something, she loved being able to treat people, especially children, if they came in with wounds that were just a little too big to be taken care of at home, and she especially loved that both of the brothers valued what she had to say about things, whether it was ordering something new, or just about life.

"Asami!" Tamotsu's voice broke through her thoughts, making her look up from the kittens and over to where he and Ryuu were standing in a small sea of customers. "We could use a little help here."

"Coming!" Asami laughed again, slid off the barrel she was perched on, and made her way over to the crowd to help.

"Asami!" Hijikata gasped her name as he woke with a start, sitting straight up in bed and reaching for the katana he kept by his futon. Getting quickly to his feet, he made his way to Asami's room and opened her door, needing to see her to calm his anxiety, although she would be sleeping. When he opened the door though, he was met with a dark, cold, and empty room. That was when it came crashing back to him…quite literally and the strength of it forced him to the ground.

It had been almost a month since his and Asami's fight. Four long weeks of looking for her and wondering where she'd gone. The morning after, Chizuru had gone out to the stables to look for Asami, but she hadn't been there, nor were there any signs of her having spent the night there, and her horse was missing. She had practically run back to the house to tell Hijikata that Asami was missing. When she told him, he had dismissed it at first with little worry, thinking that she had probably just gone out for a ride to calm down, and after all, where they lived was certainly a safe enough place for her to ride. When dinner had come around though, and there was still no sign of their daughter, both he and Chizuru had gotten worried and had gone out to look for her. No one had seen her all day, but everyone tried to reassure them that she was alright, probably just trying to prove that she could take care of herself.

Hearing that had set into motion an uncomfortable twisting in Hijikata's stomach. _Would Asami really run away to prove that she was mature enough to handle working? _She hadn't needed to go as far as that. Day after day, Hijikata and Chizuru watched and waited, praying that Asami would come back, or someone would tell them that they'd seen her. The longer it was, the more Asami's missing presence affected her parents.

Chizuru slowly became a shell of her former, livelier, self. She stopped her little happy habits – humming and singing softly while working in the store or in the house – and to a point, even stopped smiling except when it became absolutely necessary, and then it was hardly genuine. Every morning when getting dressed, she would put on a necklace or hair comb like Asami used to, often using her daughter's in place of her own.

Hijikata had it much worse. Starting the fourth night, he started having vivid nightmares about Asami being in danger, or hurt somewhere alone and calling out for him. The dreams made for many sleepless nights where he would sit in her room, thinking about what he could have said differently that might have made her stay. There were also the hallucinations, and they'd been happening more and more often as of late. Hijikata had been having delusions of Asami, thinking he'd see her in the yard, the stables, the store, or hear her laugh ringing through the house, only to find nothing.

The thing that had really broken his heart though was that one night, while he'd been in her room, Hijikata had noticed something that had almost been hidden. Under the corner of dresser, like it had been tossed across the room, was the cherry blossom pendant that Hijikata had given Asami for her birthday four years ago. She had worn it every day since he'd given it to her, and everyone would often catch her staring off into space, one hand around herself and the other clinging to the pendant, running her fingers along its outline like it held the key to whatever she was thinking about. It had been physically painful for him to see something he'd given her that she treasured so much, easily cast aside and forgotten.

Now, Hijikata felt a small hand placed on his shoulder and turned to see Chizuru kneeling next to him, looking sadly into Asami's room. Seeing her gaze made him feel even worse, knowing that he was responsible for the pain and sorrow only tore at his heart further. He wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. There was a moment where the two of them sat in silence before Chizuru started sobbing quietly into Hijikata's shoulder. Not knowing what to do to comfort either of them, he just sat there holding her, and making a deal with any of the gods that if he could be given the chance, he would make everything right with his family.

A few days later, Hijikata and Chizuru found themselves en route to Tokyo. Hijikata had to see someone about using new medicines in the store and as much as he didn't want to leave home, he had to. Chizuru had also insisted that she come along with him as she hadn't wanted to stay at home alone. The two of them had decided that they wanted to spend as little time there as they could so they could get back home.

Once they reached the city, Hijikata decided to make a quick stop for dinner and pulled Chizuru into a small restaurant with him. Neither of them was very hungry, but HIjikata wanted to make sure that Chizuru had at least a little something to eat before they went to the inn where they were going to be staying. The pair were sitting next to the window, which provided both with a much welcome diversion from the permanent silence that seemed to swallow them.

A little while into their meal, there was a sharp cry that came through the window. Both, ever on the alert, looked up and out to see what had happened. Right outside the window, there was a mother holding her a young child who was wailing at the top of its lungs. The mother tried comforting the child as she began walking towards one of the shops across the street, but it didn't seem to be doing much good. As she moved away, Hijikata caught the reason the child was in distress. Her right arm was untidily wrapped in a bandage that was beginning to show a bloodstain. "Mama!" The little girl cried, trying to calm herself down.

Not being able to watch the little girl in distress any longer, HIjikata rose to his feet, left enough money on the table to cover their meal, took Chizuru's hand and led her out into the street with the intention to offer to help the girl. He had caught a brief glance of the little girl's face and in that second, she had looked so much like Asami, that Hijikata had felt a pang in his heart and the urge to help her.

The pair followed the mother and child across the street and into the store and were almost instantly knocked off their feet when they saw what was inside. The store was like a crossroads between Japan and the Western world, having the perfect balance between traditional and new modern influence. There were shelves and shelves of goods and foods from the West mixed in with those that were local, bolts of cloth could be seen laid out behind the counter as well as long strips that were hung from the ceiling and tied off in a ribbon effect so they billowed down. The biggest surprise though, was a voice that came from another side of the store. "Hush, little one. Everything is going to be okay, I'm going to help you."

_Asami!_

Hijikata and Chizuru quickly made their way through the store to where their daughter's voice was coming from. Once they turned the corner, they saw her, but how she'd changed! She looked like the store, a cross of traditional and Western. She was wearing a dress cut in the Western style, but made out of pink kimono fabric, and her hair was pulled back from her face pulled back in a way that looked like braided rope, tied with a blue ribbon on the end.

Asami was seated on the floor with the child in her lap, as she began to work while murmuring soft reassurances. Kneeling next to Asami was a boy a little older than her holding a tray with various things from a medical kit to help the wound. HIjikata watched proudly as Asami cleaned off the abrasion, and perfectly treated and wrapped it. Watching her sent a surge through Hijikata's chest. It wasn't painful, but more of a longing after seeing what he hadn't wanted to admit to himself. Moved by the twinge, Hijikata took his wife's hand and led her back into the main part of the store; he wasn't going to leave, (not a chance) but he wanted to give Asami a chance to finish her job.

A few minutes later, two laughs resonated out through the shop. Both could have been laughs of children, so pure and joyful, but Chizuru knew her daughter's laugh and looked up just in time to see her walking across the room, the child in her arms, and the same boy following close behind her, watching on with an adoring expression. Hijikata saw it too and ground his teeth together hard, but he was more focused on his daughter as she handed the child back to its mother and waved after them, and held his breath as her gaze slid over to where they were standing.

Asami blinked once, twice, then three times to make sure that she was seeing was real. It hadn't been that long since she'd seen her parents, but they both looked like they had aged in the short span of time. Both looked exhausted, and Asami felt a small twinge of guilt, _had she done that to her parents? _She had the immediate urge to run across the room and throw herself into her parent's arms like she used to as a child, but she restrained herself.

There was a tense silence that settled over the room, and everyone could feel it. Asami reached behind her for Ryuu's hand and clung to it tightly, like a lifeline and only relaxed slightly when she felt him squeeze her hand back. Hijikata noticed the movement and felt the earlier pain of longing grip at him again.

Asami was no longer his little girl, he realized now. He had had the feeling for a little while, but had always suppressed it when he saw how young and innocent she always was. To him, Asami always looked like the delicate little one who would bring him little flowers she had picked in the garden, or try to make him smile if he had a bad day, or curl up to him if she was scared or not feeling well. Seeing her like this; enjoying working in a store, comforting a small child in an almost maternal way, holding onto the hand of a man that was _not _him like he was a life support system for her, was bringing Hijikata close to the edge of breaking down.

Realizing that he would have to be the one to make the first move if he ever wanted to have Asami again, Hijikata took two steps forward and held out his arms to her. Asami waited a beat before feeling Ryuu push her gently in Hijikata's direction. That was all she needed to let go of his hand and dash across the room to her father. When she looked up from his embrace, she saw tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes.

"Why are you crying?" She asked softly, burrowing her face back into his father's chest to keep herself from crying. There was no response for a minute as Hijikata tried to calm himself, taking deep breaths and running a hand over Asami's hair to reassure himself that she was really there.

Finally he said, "Because my little girl has grown up, and I didn't want to realize it."

Asami looked up from his chest, her own eyes starting to glisten with tears. "Daddy," she said in soft voice, drawing a smile from him with the name she hadn't used since she was young, "I'll always be your little girl, but I have to grow up some time."

"I know Asami, I know." HIjikata said quietly, looking down at her with a smile which triggered one of Asami's as she hugged him tighter. "But give me a chance to get used to the idea before you grow up anymore, alright?" Asami nodded, still smiling until he added, "That means no boys."

Chizuru and Ryuu inhaled sharply, waiting to see what one or the other would do. Asami stared at her father, her gaze not divulging what she was thinking while trying to decipher Hijikata's own unreadable expression. Another beat later, Hijikata smiled again, "I mean no _more._" He looked up to where Ryuu was standing and looked him over with a cold, appraising glare. "If you want to court my daughter, you will do it properly from now on."

"Thank you!" Asami broke into a bright smile again and hugged Hijikata before stepping back, to bring Ryuu over to introduce him to her parents.

**Thanks for reading!**

**Ari****


End file.
